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Author Topic: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner? [Locked]
Koneg  3 stars
Title: Evil Genius
Posts: 894
Registered: 2001-12-4 15:31:28
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you…You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:


…


…


…


…


…


Democrat’s Answer:


Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!


What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?


Does the man look poor or oppressed?


Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?


Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?


Could we run away?


What does my wife think?


What about the kids?


Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?


What does the law say about this situation?


Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?


Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?


Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?


Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?


If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?


Should I call 9-1-1?


Why is this street so deserted?


We need to raise taxes, have a paint & weed day. Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior?


I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


This is all so confusing!


Republican’s Answer:


BANG!


Southerner’s Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


Click….. (Sounds of reloading)


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


Click


Daughter: ’Nice grouping, Daddy!’ ‘Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!


Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’


Wife: ’You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!’

 

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* First rule of a gun fight: Have a gun.
|
"Any sufficiently advanced idiocy is
indistinguishable from trolling." -- Arthur C Clarke
Abaddon_Ambrosius  4 stars
Title: Retired Theurgist TL
Posts: 1,674
Registered: 2001-12-21 09:51:39
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
/accurate

 

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In the immortal words of Socrates - "I drank what?"
"God you guys suck at the internet - how can you fail to locate porn?!" - Eternal_Midnight
"Knowing means nothing." - Fat-badger
DemonicXH  3 stars
Title: Camelot Vault Staff
News Editor
Posts: 584
Registered: 2003-12-1 08:14:17
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
Koneg posted:
Wife: ’You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!’
Blue_arrow  2 stars
Posts: 468
Registered: 2008-7-2 02:02:19
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click

Daughter: ’Nice grouping, Daddy!’ ‘Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’

Wife: ’You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!’


 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSiRUSjSJnQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI
Mastara  4 stars
Posts: 1,446
Registered: 2004-12-29 22:52:21
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
I vote bang, because more than one bang being an expert shot means your a failure

 

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Boooooommmm Heeeaaaddddshhhhooooottttt!
http://www.carellaross.com/img/truth_its_the_new_hate_speech.jpg
Mastatheimposta - 10L2 SB Merlin
Vydor  1 star
Posts: 248
Registered: 2001-12-24 21:14:09
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?

 

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Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence.
Yukishiro1  4 stars
Posts: 3,243
Registered: 2002-9-20 23:52:57
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
Koneg posted:
Southerner’s Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


Click….. (Sounds of reloading)


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


Click


Daughter: ’Nice grouping, Daddy!’ ‘Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!


Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’


Wife: ’You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!’


[Koneg walks up, looks down at the dead guy, adjusts his glasses, and turns to the Southerner]


Koneg: Uh, HELLO? Did you just use hollow points? You should have used silver tips. What kind of idiot doesn't use silver tips? Do you have ANY IDEA what you are doing AT ALL?
Moe_Nox  4 stars
Title: In Moe We Trust
Posts: 1,962
Registered: 2007-2-4 12:17:56
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?

 

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The Nanny State cometh
Currency should be bacon cheeseburgers and blow jobs... - Reese
Life at the Outpost: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556
Tych2  4 stars
Title: Obama Appointed Outpost Czar
Posts: 2,511
Registered: 2005-3-1 06:56:47
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
Yuki!

 

-----signature-----
We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart.
Drill Anwar!
Kapie
Drevid in Tanks
Altra_Shadowstalker  4 stars
Posts: 1,266
Registered: 2002-1-17 11:48:15
 Date Posted: 1/1/00 12:00am Subject: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
altra posted:
Deport him!

 

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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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