Because we tried being all lovey to Sweden, we bought her nice things but she only called us when Poland needed to be put back to its place or Prussians were being mean to her...As long as we kept buying her nice things and doing her dirty work for her our Relationship with Sweden flourished.

Then that 6 feet tall hairy rapist called Russia came and had its way with us in front of Sweden. Then Sweden decided we're broken goods, gave back the wedding ring and we ended up being Russias prison bitch until we managed to shank him hard enough to gain enough credibility to be left alone...after all that we decided that single life is best for us!

 

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That's more or less correct..

..well you weren't raped by Russia you more or less betrayed your king and jumped ship.

 

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