What the hell, I'll share this story before I go to bed.
A few years ago, my friend and I were helping to renovate a restaurant I used to work at. After several hours of demo, we went to the bar to grab a few beers. While I'm sitting there, a decent looking older chick comes to our table, looks at me and says, "My friend thinks you're cute". Bear in mind that I normally look like a dirtbag and now I'm filthy from tearing up the place.
Her friend comes over and sits down next to me. She's this huge Hawaiian chick. As large as in the picture I posted, maybe bigger. I look at my friend and he's barely keeping his laughter in. After a few minutes of small talk my friend gets up and goes to dance with the older chick. The larger chick asks me if I want to dance. I don't dance even under the best of circumstances and I sure as hell wasn't going to dance with her.
After a few songs, my friend and the older chick came back to the table. My friend clearly sees that I just want to leave, so he makes an excuse and we start to get up to leave.
Before I get up, the larger chick asks me if she can have a kiss goodnight.
I'm not nearly as much of an asshole as I probably should be, so I lean over to kiss her on the cheek and make her night. She grabs my face with her ham sized hands and just goes for it.
We leave and get in my friend's car. He's just rolling laughing. I give him a look, the look that says, "If you ever speak about this again.......". Then I burst out laughing.
tl;dr cool story bro!
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I'm not unemployed, I'm on vacation.
