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Author Topic: Mike is dead. [Locked]
Reapist  4 stars
Title: Official ACF HIOFI Poster
Posts: 4,367
Registered: 2001-12-20 03:56:16
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that..."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"ou shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."

 

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pkhere: Jebus sometimes you make my arse tired.
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
I'd feel bad for Satriani but he got himself into it. - allmightybob_MLF
FineYoungCannibals  4 stars
Title: Top of the food chain
Posts: 1,620
Registered: 2003-7-14 19:17:12
i thought we talked about you posting joke threads without my approval


clean out your desk, you are gone

 

-----signature-----
FYC
AkagiyamaMissile  4 stars
Title: Lord of the Lactose Intolerant
Posts: 3,975
Registered: 2003-4-22 07:39:44
FineYoungCannibals posted:

i thought we talked about you posting joke threads without my approval


clean out your desk, you are gone

 

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Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
Rodriks_Fury  2 stars
Posts: 366
Registered: 2001-5-30 19:27:12
AkagiyamaMissile posted:

FineYoungCannibals posted:

i thought we talked about you posting joke threads without my approval


clean out your desk, you are gone

 

-----signature-----
Kitty Jesus shall smite you all.
Varece  4 stars
Posts: 1,096
Registered: 2002-1-7 21:48:11
Rodriks_Fury posted:

AkagiyamaMissile posted:

FineYoungCannibals posted:

i thought we talked about you posting joke threads without my approval


clean out your desk, you are gone


 

-----signature-----
I am no longer young enough to know everything
Knowledge is Free America's Libraries
"ou embrace that which defines you"
"If you tell the truth, you don't need a good memory"
We're not perfect...we're parents
BritonGuy  4 stars
Title: Serious Business
Posts: 1,567
Registered: 2004-3-4 20:43:50
tldl

 

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Briton Guy...persnickety...NEVER! -Murron (truly)
Hawkson is the greatest. -Hawkson
Britonguy is usually right. -Onslaught on BT
“Do or do not... there is no try.” - Yodazami
Do you expect me to remember what I put in my mouth? -NSMachi
Onslaught.  4 stars
Title: I've always wanted a title.
Posts: 1,377
Registered: 2001-2-13 13:46:37
Varece posted:

Rodriks_Fury posted:

AkagiyamaMissile posted:

FineYoungCannibals posted:

i thought we talked about you posting joke threads without my approval


clean out your desk, you are gone




 

-----signature-----
"Mmmmrmmrrrmrrmrmrrrrmrmrrmrmrmrrmrr"
-GinsuWife
Gilligan.USCG  3 stars
Title: Stuck on the Island
Posts: 528
Registered: 2001-9-19 19:53:25
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD
>FWD

 

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www.ice9gaming.com - cs / tf2 / bf2
<3 Oregon State - CWS Winnars x2
Mangler_SC  4 stars
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 1,856
Registered: 2003-12-2 08:37:05
Onslaught. posted:

Varece posted:

Rodriks_Fury posted:

AkagiyamaMissile posted:

FineYoungCannibals posted:

i thought we talked about you posting joke threads without my approval


clean out your desk, you are gone





 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE
Ah-Schoo  4 stars
Title: Fuzzy Caterpillar of Friendliness
Posts: 3,034
Registered: 2000-8-11 09:05:29
I liked it.

<COMBO BREAKER!>

 

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Opinion = fact. Anecdote = proof. Political label more important than either of those.
Welcome to ACF, where debate goes to die.
.
"fascist totalitarian secular progressive Zionist intellectually challenged Christian puppets." - Aerlinthina

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