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Author Topic: I have to write an essay about Australia [Locked]
ikkoikki  4 stars
Posts: 1,964
Registered: 2009-2-8 10:34:47
and I can't study for it, omg, ADD kicking in!

does anyone have any useful info about Australia they'd like to share?

inb4 someone mentions sex with kangaroos

 

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Chicago Bulls: 43-13
post game gem from Joakim Noah: "We cannot play with our heads down and have a poo poo face. Sometimes we have a poo poo face."
Webscar  3 stars
Title: /Yiffs in Hell [face_furry]
Posts: 946
Registered: 2002-11-30 00:27:37
Tamuddie and the Lucky Scrotum Pouch

Tamuddie was tracking a goanna through the bush when he came across an injured kangaroo. It had been speared in the shoulder. The kangaroo was Tamuddies totem, so by the law of his tribe his duty was to help the injured animal. He carried the roo back to his campsite, removed the spear, and gave him some water to drink.

For two days Tamuddie kept watch over the kangaroo, bathing his wound and feeding him. Eventually Tamuddie had to go and find food for himself. It was several hours before he returned with a fat goanna to cook. On his return he found only the burnt remains of his friend. Tribesmen had been and feasted upon the kangaroo while he was away. He looked in the ashes at the charred remains and noticed that a piece of the kangaroo had not been burnt nor eaten and that was the scrotum. Tamuddie cut it away, made a pouch out of it, and tied it around his neck.

On the way to his tribe he was stopped by men of another tribe. They argued over the kangaroo and one of the men threw a spear at Tamuddie, but the spear fell to the ground. This frightened the tribesmen and they ran from him screaming he was a demon.

When Tamuddie returned to his people he told them of the kangaroo and of the spear. An elder approached him with a knife and took his arm. Tamuddie grit his teeth knowing the elder was about to cut him, but as the elder drew the knife across Tamuddies arm it did not cut. The elder looked strangely at Tamuddie for a few moments then said that because he had looked after the kangaroo, the pouch would bring him luck. The elder then declared to all the tribes people that Tamuddie would join with the elders. Tamuddie wore the pouch for many years and for many years it brought him luck. The pouch from Australia Gift Shop will bring you many years of luck as it did for Tamuddie.

Another Legend says:
Once upon a time there lived in the center of Australia an aboriginal boy. One day he came upon a small kangaroo in the bush, caught it by the tail, and made a purse out of its dear little symbol of masculinity. He gave it to his girl, and she kept seeds and berries in it.

Next he saw a large kangaroo. He caught it with a spear and made another purse from its thick symbol of masculinity. He gave it to his farther who kept stones and things of value in it.

Ever since then, male kangaroo scrotum purses have been popular amongst the aborigines. For women, the soft playable one; for men the strong, wrinkled one.
They became as important as one's own symbol of masculinity and were recognized as the brining luck items. That's why kangaroo scrotum purse is often called as "Lucky Bag" or "Lucky Pouch".

 

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Vagina Purse: 'A daily blog about what I find inside me' ~Ticky
Shazami  2 stars
Posts: 453
Registered: 2002-3-22 16:26:07
Did you know that in Australia, it's perfectly legal to have sex with kangaroos??

Rhodoman  4 stars
Posts: 1,397
Registered: 2001-6-14 21:02:19
Dear Mr. Question Man: I have been wondering about this for quite some time. It is well known that the earth is round like a ball. Therefore, some people must be walking on it upside down. Why is it that these people do not fall off?

Mr. Question Man: You have stated a common misconception. People are falling off all the time.


Rho

 

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Rho is correct. - Varece
Venit hiems quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
-Foxy-  5 stars
Title: Moderator
Über Brat

Posts: 6,565
Registered: 2002-5-29 21:46:17
they seem to be over run with spiders?

 

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Long suffering vassal to Xarkath, U.P. - Forever and ever
AkagiyamaMissile  4 stars
Title: Lord of the Lactose Intolerant
Posts: 3,975
Registered: 2003-4-22 07:39:44
Dingos stole my baby, yeah, doo dah, doo dah....

 

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Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
Caoilin  4 stars
Title: Instigator
Posts: 2,278
Registered: 2001-11-20 00:03:45
everything not human in australia is actively trying to murder the humans at all times. even the air. it's a well documented fact that australia is a sentient body of land that hates humanity.

 

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"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
suntzukali2  3 stars
Posts: 551
Registered: 2002-1-23 02:48:55
just rent crocodile dundee movies and you will be good.

 

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The ultimate end of all revolutionary social change is to establish the sanctity of human life, the dignity of man, the right of every human being to liberty and well-being. Emma Goldman
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-Mithan-  4 stars
Title: VNBoard Admin
Posts: 1,287
Registered: 2000-3-1 11:53:15
Just watch Crocodile Dundee.

 

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I survived to the end and got nothing out of it, but hey.
Caoilin  4 stars
Title: Instigator
Posts: 2,278
Registered: 2001-11-20 00:03:45
i am now suspicious that suntz and mithan are the same person.

 

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"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun

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