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Author Topic: Time Traveler From The Year 1998 Warns Nation Not To Elect Newt Gingrich [Locked]
Scarne  4 stars
Title: Capo di Scientifico
Posts: 1,087
Registered: 2001-7-23 15:24:34
http://www.theonion.com/articles/time-traveler-from-the-year-1998-warns-nation-not,27178/

Quote:

WASHINGTON—Saying he came bearing an important message from the past, a stranger from the year 1998 appeared on the Capitol steps Thursday and urged voters not to elect Newt Gingrich president in 2012. "In the late 20th century, Newt Gingrich is a complete disgrace!" said the time-traveling man, warning Americans that 14 years in the not-so-distant past, Gingrich becomes the only speaker in the history of the House of Representatives to be found guilty on ethics charges, and is later forced to resign. "In my time, he shuts down the federal government for 28 days because his feelings get hurt over having to sit at the back of Air Force One. Gingrich gets our president impeached for lying about marital infidelities when, at the same time, Gingrich himself is engaged in his own extramarital affairs. And for God's sake, he divorced his first wife after she was diagnosed with cancer. Won't anyone listen to me?!?" When asked about Donald Trump, the time-traveler said he had no information on the man, as no one from 1998 cared about a "washed-up fake millionaire."


 

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E Pluribus Unum
ZigmundZag  4 stars
Title: Grammar Nazi
Posts: 1,211
Registered: 2002-3-25 23:03:00

 

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"Take the cheese to sickbay!"
__Bonk__  5 stars
Posts: 5,122
Registered: 2009-7-25 03:04:52



Gingrich is an evil one.

 

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I keep my eyes fixed on the sun!
A change in feeling is a change in destiny.
Aerlinthian  4 stars
Posts: 2,126
Registered: 2001-5-7 23:53:38
Progressives generally are.
Eager_Igraine  4 stars
Posts: 1,036
Registered: 2002-11-21 11:55:52

 

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I radiate more heat than light.
I know what you're trying to do but you're just sailing another failboat over the falls. - imaloon1
Yukishiro1  4 stars
Posts: 3,243
Registered: 2002-9-20 23:52:57
Urk_VN  2 stars
Title: Orderly Randomizer
Posts: 337
Registered: 2002-10-30 17:31:32

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