Ed Zachary Disease

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid that there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist, so she did.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was told.

Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "our probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not
haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what
is Ed Zachary disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

 

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Lacist but

 

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A primary school teacher told her pupils that if they could answer the question given to them, then they could go to lunch early.

She asked little Mary in the front row, "What did you do at morning break, Mary?"
Mary replied that she had played in the sand pit.
"OK, Mary," said the teacher, "If you can spell sand for me then you can go." So Mary spelt out "S-A-N-D".
and off she went.

Then she asked Johnny, "What did you do at morning break, Johnny?" Johnny replied that he had also been playing in the sandpit. So the teacher said, "If you can spell pit for me then you can go as well."
So Johnny spelt out "P-I-T" and took off as well.

There was a little Chinese boy, standing at the back of the room and she said to him, "Ho Chi Min, what did you do at morning break?" Ho Chi Min replied that he had wanted to play in the sandpit, but the other kids wouldn't let him, so the teacher said, "Okay, Ho Chi Min, if you can spell racial prejudice for me then you can go to lunch as well."

 

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Yigè xuésheng ná dào sheng píng dìyi zhang zhipiào, xing chong chong de pao dào yínháng qù cún, jing bàn rényuán kàn le kàn zhipiào, pa dì yi sheng, ba zhipiào fàng huí guìtái shàng shuo:
“Bèi shu.”
Zhègè xuésheng xià le yi tiào, yitóu wù shui, qiè sheng sheng dì wèn:
“Qingwèn yào bèi nà yi duàn?”

 

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ASIANS HAVE SMALL PENIS LOLROFL!!!1!

 

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I imagine you've seen enough to be an expert. How is Calladon anyway?

 

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Hey man, I'm A Panda

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
A tree-dwelling bear of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

 

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