there was a woman named Aunt Betty. She had a sister (not by blood) named Betty.
By Aunt Betty's wishes, she wanted her /sister/ Betty to spread her ashes on the river that passed through the country club she lived in over in St Petersburg.

As we were filling out paperwork to cremate my grandfather, she continued on with the story in telling us that the surviving Betty (not Aunt Betty) waited months to do this because she didnt feel that the the time was right.

My mom shook her pen and said that the ink ran dry, i said, "what a stroke of fscknig irony that the pen dies in a creamtorium."

My brother said, "just tuck the pen in along with grandpa, who will know?"

The woman continued with her story, she said that Betty finally found the right time to inter her "aunt Betty's" remains upon the creek

so she went to the bridge over the creek on a perfectly still day, with beautiful blue skies and she spread her Aunt Betty's remains as requested.

Minutes later, Betty heard QUACK QUACK QUACK and a bunch of duck flocked to the ashes and ate Aunt Betty's ashes.


In any event, RIP my grandad

 

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I wanna be chopped into bits and shot from an air cannon into a preschool

 

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RIP

I just hope no one rapes my corpse when I die

 

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Death is funny.

Yeah, it's sad, but it's also funny. All the crap you left behind, the junk people have to clean up. dealing with your corpse....it's either funny or tragic. I opt for funny as often as I can.

Sorry bout your grandpa.

Nothing funny about losing someone you love. Years from now however, the things you will want to remember are the times he was funny.

Life. It's like a comedy contest where the prizes aren't given out till after everyone leaves.

RIP your grandpa. Getting your ashes eaten by ducks doesn't sound like a bad way to go out to me btw. One last laugh on the universe. Ducks are funny. Cool beans.

How about if we chop you into bits and mix you with poop and then shoot the poop into the government buildings.

 

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this will probably happen to my ashes as well, since I want them sank at Cannon Beach, by Haystack rock which is a bird sanctuary.

 

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I'm sorry, aon.

 

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she told another story about a Dentist who was tasked to cremating his ex-wife (conditions of will.) They were married for something like 40 years and over the course of their marriage he had installed a ton of gold in her mouth.

Prior to going into the furnace, he asked the lady who was telling me this story that he wanted to be present during the process (oven time) so ensure that no one would steal the gold from her mouth because he wanted to get it back.

The crematorium was like, uh, weirdo the odds of you getting anything back after 2000 degrees heat is slim to none, but you are welcome to try. BUT they said it would be more optimal if he went to get the gold PRIOR to firing.

in short, Mr Dentist was present during the cremation and went into her ashes with a hand rake looking for the gold.

Raking thru his ex-wifes ashes looking for gold. he found none.

 

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you will have grand memories of your grandpa i bet aon

 

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